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Grief Amongst the Holidays

This holiday season I’m (like many) battling grief. The loss of my cherished Uncle George yesterday. The loss of my physical and at-times mental health at the hands of #LongCovid. The loss of my ability to communicate with others most days due to managing post-exertional malaise amongst a cognitively taxing career and life. The loss of hope in others who despite having the knowledge of what’s best during a global pandemic, continue to choose their immediate wants over what’s needed for the well-being and needs of all.

It’s hard to see the gains when the losses overshadow, as grief is a pair of heavily tinted sunglasses shielding us from the often blinding effects of our environment.

It’s a blanket made of love that dawns a tag of pain, with us focusing on the tag and finding difficulty in appreciating the fabric that comprises it: after all, how can we focus on the threads of love that bind when all that we can focus on is its heaviness?

This holiday season many are curling up with their blanket of grief, and that is ok. That is always ok. There is no shame in feeling feelings and there, if anything, is great growth that occurs in the process of experiencing and facing difficulties that surface within life.

But please know that you have the power to put the blanket down whenever you feel safest and most able to do so, if even to gauge if the air is warm enough to not need the blanket at all.

And while the holidays are a challenging time for many, with the coveted “home” being a center of holiday themes, I want to remind you that home is not a place.

That love is not a place.

That neither are physically tangible things.

They may both have physical manifestations (a shelter that has your possessions or the energy of memories; a person or persons that you can touch) but it’s the unseen forces behind these physical things that define their value and worth in our lives.

Our soul is our home.

The energy of our love fills and fulfills our home.

And if you find yourself feeling alone or in pain this holiday season, I implore you to not overlook your most welcoming and loving guest, waiting patiently to greet you: your soul.

It has a lot of love to give you.🤍

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